루 Dealing With Ridicule 루

When talking about ridicule, or being made fun of, there are generally two kinds of people. One type of person is affected by the ridicule and as a result becomes sensitive and withdrawn; and the other type of person just shakes it off and carries on with life. Which one would you rather be?

Allah tells us in the Qur'an that people should rejoice from what they have. Often people like to think that the way they dress, eat, go out, behave, and mix is better than the ways other people do these things. So when they see someone who is different from them, that other person appears "funny" or strange. And because they have this sense of superiority — perhaps even haughtiness — they laugh.



There is a story in the Qur'an about a group of Muslims who were working in the fields to raise money to pay their zakah. Another group of Muslims were passing by and saw them. They laughed at them! Allah was so displeased at this behavior that He mentioned this episode in the Qur'an, He said:

(And of them is he who made a covenant with Allah (saying): If He give us of His bounty We will give alms and become of the righteous. Yet when He. gave them of His bounty, they boarded it and turned away, averse. So He hath made the consequence (to be) hypocrisy in their hearts until the day when they shall meet Him, because they broke their word to Allah that they promised Him, and because they lied. Those who point at such of the believers as give the alms willingly and such as can find naught to give but their endeavors, and deride them Allah (Himself) derideth them. Theirs will be a painful doom.) (At-Tawbah 9:75-80)



At other times people might ridicule people just for the sake of being nasty. Allah orders the Muslims not to do that, and in the Qur'an said:

(O ye who believe! Let not a folk deride a folk who may be better than they (are), nor let women (deride) women who may be better than they are; neither defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. Bad is the name of lewdness after faith. And whoso turneth not in repentance, such are evil doers.) (Al-Hujurat 49:11)



It's never easy to be the butt of someone's jokes or the target of their ridicule. Hurtful things are said and especially if the name or teasing fits you it will hurt even more and cause even greater pain. So what can you do to take that pain away or even better, to let those cruel words just fly above your head — and miss their target!

It's helpful to remember that people usually fear what they do not understand or what is new or different to themselves. This may grow out of a deep sense of insecurity — not being aware of who you are or not being confident and happy about who you are. So one who ridicules often has an emptiness inside of them and likewise one who is affected by the mocking words will also end up with an empty feeling inside — and that's why it hurts, because it hits their weak spot.



Harming and reciprocating harm is forbidden in Islam — Allah the Almighty does not want any human being to hurt or to be hurt. You usually find that people who have the habit of ridiculing and hurting the feelings of others are heading for a fall in their lives because "what goes around, comes around," meaning that what you send out to others will eventually come back to you.

What about the person who does not have this emptiness and insecurity inside, but who people try to make fun of? Would the hurtful remarks penetrate deeply to cause a lot of emotional pain and hurt? At the beginning of his prophethood, Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was continually ridiculed. People hurled taunts and hurtful words at him to the point that when his baby son died at a very young age and the tears of mercy and sadness were still wet on his face (peace and blessings be upon him), his enemies taunted him for not having a son and heir. What a wicked thing to say! But these words were met with a calm spirit that never spat out hateful words in return. In fact, he (peace and blessings be upon him) always wished his enemies well and pitied them and their ignorance, and of course always sought refuge in Allah.




So if you find yourself a target of ridicule, think for a moment about the reasons why people may be targeting you:

Because you are a Muslim? Well, if you are a good Muslim you will enter Paradise and you know the old saying, "He who laughs last, laughs the longest."




Because of the color of your skin or your ethnic background? Well, no one has control over the color of their skin and these kinds of details, and it's only foolish people who judge others by their external appearances.

The way you speak? Maybe you have an accent — maybe you are still trying to learn the language of the place where you are living. Well this process takes time, so maybe you should learn to laugh at yourself and bit by bit lighten up the situation.




Just because you are different? If there is no obvious reason why people are picking on you, maybe you are just too clever, too successful, or too different in their eyes. In this case, I suggest you pity their weakness, obvious deep sense of insecurity, and perhaps even jealousy. Yes! Sometimes people can be unkind to you because they are jealous of you. You just never know what's going on in people's minds.


There will always be evil and nasty people among mankind who try to pull others down, and they usually try this first by ridiculing, so just stand firm with a kind and forgiving heart, trust in Allah, and be determined do good in your life.




Be good! Then be yourself and carry on. The echoes of laughter from the ignorant will fade away, and you will become stronger and wiser.